Three-Horse Riding
I tried it. I think rhythmically, I have the tendency to want to rise on the wrong diagonal. Or maybe not. I couldn't tell. Cheerios kept veering off the circle the minute I tried to sense which leg I was rising with, which threw off the circular pattern. *sigh*

Our last session wasn't anything like the first attempt with Patterns. In hindsight, I know why. On Patterns Day One, I was focused on the PROCESS. On Day Two, I was focused on the RESULT. Having recommitted to my long-term PNH goals, I found myself too goal-oriented. Not good. Plus, it didn't help that I was tired by the time I got to Cheerios.

First, I finally got Shaveya to catch me. She has developed terrible sunburn on her nose. I promised to be very careful to avoid letting the halter scrape the sore area as I put it on. Yes, we got haltered. Then she got a dose of salve all over her nose like a lifeguard. Then we played.

If she could just be 100% sound, if I could trust that, she'd make a perfect partner. Once she calms down out of RBE, she's LB and obedient all the way. I tested to make sure she was responding rather than escaping.

Responding. Good.

I even got a L2 Sideways out of HER. Cool.

Because I'm trying to get her leased out, I had to make sure she was still a rideable beastie. Yes. She has lameness. But the consensus is that she'd be all right for light riding and a lighter (than me) rider. I've got a line on someone whose 10-year-old daughter needs a new partner and only walks and trots, and only weighs about 100 lbs. I also have a very skinny friend who I might cajole into a part-lease, muwahahaha.

But I had to test her. So, I gently mounted bareback after laying on her a few times. I'd say we walked about 12 feet total. Yes, she's rideable. She's responsive. But she doesn't want to walk. I was afraid to push and I had nothing to use to apply rhythmic pressure other than my hands because duh I left the carrot stick on the ground and duh I was riding with my 12' line tied into reins. No tail.

Oh, well. I was only on for a few minutes, but she wasn't too bothered.

Cheerios was just blah. Though I did get a nice canter on the 22' going left, he balked at the right. I did it this time w/o any saddle on in case it was a saddling issue. Nope. He just doesn't want to canter to the right. He is getting much better at reading my energy, though. I must be getting better at projecting it.

It's a challenge! My energy is low-level but always "on", or so I'm told from simulations at the last clinic. My challenge is to learn to raise it appropriately, then shut it COMPLETELY off when needed.

We played with:

• Cantering on the 22' (OL)


• Figure 8 around barrels (OL)


• Change of direction 22' (OL)


• Jumping a 6-inch high pole (OL)


• Question Box (FS)


• Follow the Rail (FS)

Follow the Rail went surprisingly well, given that he actually STAYED on the rail and listened, rather than diverting and heading towards the gate as usual. But the trot on QBox? Choppy, out of balance, bouncy—welcome back, Pogo Stick! Like I said, I was feeling pretty direct-line about then, and maybe I was being too critical. Oh, well, there is always tomorrow.

I also learned something truly disgusting about horse flies. If one lands on the horse's back along the spine, and you tap (not whack) it with the handle end of the carrot stick to kill it, not only does it die, but it severs in half.

And it's hollow inside.

Scuse me whilst I hurleth.

So. Onward. That was Tuesday when I rode two horses in one day. Wednesday, I took said skinny friend who might work for Shaveya up to the old barn where I first started riding eight years ago and we went on a trail ride. Yes. I have two horses of my own, yet I shelled out $35 for a nose-to-tail/group lesson. I had my reasons.

1. secretly assess said friend's horse savvy and riding ability


2. get out on an actual trail for a change


3. ride a horse as a confidence builder at the canter

It was awesome. I had my choice of two horses chosen for my purpose (I'd called ahead and explained my needs). Ranger, a black & white Paint, and Spot, a sorrel Appaloosa. I did the sniff test with each to choose. Ranger sniffed, laid his ears back (unconfidently, not aggressively), turned his head away and would not look at me. Spot sniffed politely, pricked up his ears, and let me pet him.

I chose Spot. All 16.1 hands of him.

He was just right. Listened well, decent trot, easygoing, felt very safe with him. My friend rode Ranger. They had a few minor issues. But they did all right. She's got some natural savvy and she listens to me, which is good. We trotted a lot, and then we tried the canter. Spot eased into a beautiful canter. But Ranger, ahead of him, didn't want to go. Spot decided to Porcupine his butt as encouragement (bite), which invoked Ranger to Porcupine back (kick) which lead to my friend thinking he was bucking. She freaked, pulled up short, and that was the end of the cantering for the day.

Oh, well. I got in a few strides, it felt natural, and we're going to do it again soon. I might just go up on my own and do a private "lesson" which basically means I'd be leasing Spot for an hour or so to practice on. It's that or try it with one of the barn manager's horses. Thing is, horses are horses, but those trail string rent-a-horses tend to be quiet enough for stuff like this moreso than "real" horses.

All I want to do is KNOW that I can still ride a canter before I attempt to ride Cheerios and work out his issues and since it's been oh, three years since I last cantered—I need help.

Spot's for sale, too. $1,200. WHEN I win the lottery...

A POST ABOUT POSTING
Perhaps this is redundant. And, it's possible I heard this somewhere and it just now registered... or it might be my very own insight.

Having never taken many formal equitation lessons, and being a wearer of the Western costume, the concept of posting to the trot is rather foreign to me. Posting to the correct diagonal? Big head scratcher. Many people have tried to explain it. The least confusing explanation I've heard was to "rise with the outside leg when it is fully extended".

Well, that's a lot of thinkity-think to be doing during a ride.

I did recall that during one PNH clinic, we "rehearsed" riding in circles without our horses on the ground for the canter to learn how to pick up leads and what those meant. I decided to take that approach with trotting and "trotted" a circle in my kitchen. I "rose" with my outside leg when I picked it up.

But... what was my other leg doing?

It was the one carrying my weight. It was firmly planted. I was pivoting on it.

AHA.

A circle is just a very wide pivot. If the circle is narrowed to a smaller and smaller diameter, eventually it turns into a spin. You—or the horse—will pivot on the INSIDE leg. For a horse, if he is moving FORWARD (this is very important because he has two legs per side), his FRONT leg is his pivot leg for the turns. (If we're talking reining spins, that's pivoting on the hind foot which doesn't apply here.)

It makes absolute sense to POST TO THE PIVOT, does it not?

Especially if you're riding with Fluidity, which means you are actively riding, not just sitting like a sack of potatoes. When you're actively riding, your feet are pedaling in harmony with him. You're trotting (or walking or cantering) in your body. When you do this, the posting occurs almost naturally.

I played with the concepts in my kitchen. PLEASE TRY THIS AT HOME! :-) You'll see what I saw—that it is uncomfortable to rise when the outside leg is planted because it causes you to want to turn in that direction. Try it.

I "trotted" (in slo-mo) a circle going to the left. My left foot is the pivot. Going left, left foot pivots, rise when he plants his left front hoof which you'll sense if you're pedaling and actively riding with him. When I rose with the pivoting foot, it felt fine.

When I tried to rise with the outside leg planted, it felt "off".

Left circle, left leg. Right circle, right leg.

OK, NOW the concept of "inside leg" makes sense.

But I like mine better. POST TO THE PIVOT. Think I'll go give it a whirl.

PATTERNS DAY ONE
Right. So I've been Official Level One for awhile now, playing in L2 first with Wildflower, now with Cheerios, and I've been boring my horse. Since I'm not beginning at the beginning, and since I've played around with some of the FreeStyle patterns in previous clinics, I decided to delve right into one of my favorites. (Can I just say, driving with two reins in Zone 5—that's Level FOUR?!? Wildflower and I experimented with that at our last clinic together. Blimey!)

I went to the barn. We have toys. LOTS of toys. We have loads of barrels (marked for Dressage patterns with letters), cones, poles, log-like poles, jumps, and a tarp. The only things "missing" are a proper pedestal, a carwash, a bridge, the Big Green Ball, and the two tires buried in the sand. All of those I'm planning to make/acquire in the coming months because I'm not the only one who likes to play with stuff.


I set up two barrels for Figure 8 and then I set up the Question Box. (This is the diagram I drew after the clinic in 2004, NOT the official PNH Patterns version.)




I also laid out the tarp. Well, this took me a good half hour or so, then I loaded up the gear—22' line, hackamore, saddle, saddle pad, bareback pad (depending on how I felt)—and wheelbarrowed it out to the paddock. Then I went to collect my horse.

First, I chased Shaveya around for awhile. I say "chase" but I mean play the Catching Game. She's being evasive again, probably because I haven't been out much this summer. She finally caught me and let me pet her. We had a nice calm thing going on. The thought crossed my mind, "Now would be a good time to walk away and prove to her you won't always ensnare her". I thought, "Sure, just a sec" because I wanted to enjoy it a little longer.

Horsefly.

Or, another horse bit her on the butt.

Either way, in the next moment, she'd thrown up her head and bolted, convinced that I was the source of it.

Drat.

So I caught Cheerios. Played online. Skipped the whole preflight the seven games in order routine so I wouldn't bore him. Well, that may not have been the best idea. Nothing happened. Not nothing bad, just—nothing. Apparently the routine is his cue that playtime is about to begin. Otherwise, he was unfocused, wandering around, not really paying attention. Needless to say, the online stuff wasn't stellar. The Figure 8 went well going left, badly going right. Huh.

Because of the heat and all the physical effort of setting up stuff, and because I didn't eat a big enough breakfast, I was feeling off by then. A slight headache was forming and I felt worn out, hot, thirsty, hungry, and whiny. But I stuck with it. He was relaxed, so I saddled up.

The QBox was AMAZING. The objective is, the center of the box is where the horse asks the question, “what do I do next”. Do I stop? Go right? Go left? Do I go out at a walk, trot, or canter? Do we go near or wide? Do I stop this time or go through and do another circle and stop next time?

It was FUN. It got his brain working. He’s responding to my energy and focus better now. I realized something huge. If it works online... it works riding. If he can pick up a nice trot online and balance it, he can do it while I’m riding. His trot yesterday was UNBELIEVABLE. He responded to my lifting my energy, he lifted into exactly the level of speed I wanted, it was smooth, I could ride it, and he slowed down better, too. Wow. This, from the horse I’d nicknamed the pogo stick. It almost felt like I was riding Wildflower. So cool. I can’t believe we’ve made it this far. There was a time I wasn’t sure we’d ever get it together.

Towards the end, he must've sensed that I was ready to be done (mentally) because he started flying off the circle when trotting to the left and heading towards the gate. I missed it the first time and had to break pattern. Next time, I was ready. Hackamore lead in my right hand, I trotted him out of the box off to the left wide circle on a casual rein. He tried to break pattern. I jiggled the lead in his Zone 2. He kept to pattern. Rode through the center, still trotting. Same thing—break, correct, ride through. Third time—trotting along... get to the break... his attitude changes to one of determination—as if he said "I'm doing it this time!" and he completed the circle without a correction. I slowed to a stop and praised him.

Then I noticed the reason his breathing had sped up. Kudos to Cheerios—he'd kept his head AND stayed on task despite an enormous horsefly sucking on his butt! SWAT! Dead. Rub rub rub. Good boy.

I almost went for a canter on the way to the saddle drop off ponit... but I’m not quite ready yet. I'd circled him on the 22’ line at the canter and he’s still a bit punky. I think, though, if I make a program of transitions to canter (walk-trot-canter, trot-canter-trot, walk-canter-walk) for a week or so, that’ll go away. Once he loses the jerky launch and the need to put his head down like he wants to buck, THEN I can ride him with confidence.

It looks like I’m going to another clinic in October, it’s a solid L2 with Jesse. I had forgotten I’d signed up for it—it’s 2.5 hours away, just above Detroit—and just got reminded that fees are due. If I drop out, I have to pay half the fee! (Not every clinic does that. Oops. Next time I’ll read the fine print.) Unless I find a replacement. Or use it as a deposit for a clinic next year. Trouble is, trailering him. I don’t know that I can ask my current barn manager for that kind of a favor, unless she’d be willing to take the weekend off and audit it (I’d pay her auditing fees). I’m the only Ohioan going, everyone else lives in Michigan. I’m working on attracting a ride, since that would be less expensive than paying for a clinic I wouldn’t be at. OY! Does God want me to go into PNH? Gee. What do YOU think?

PATTERNS!!!
It's HERE! My Parelli Patterns kit just arrived!

They have done it again. This is magnificent! Looking at it from a designer's perspective, it will definitely win awards. It's breathtakingly beautiful in art and design.

Then there is the content. I haven't watched the DVDs yet, but the ingenuity of the flip books and wall charts with icons for everything—brilliant! It's truly international. No language barriers. Once you're familiar with the iconography for walk, trot, canter, etc., just look at the diagrams and follow the... patterns.

My only "complaints":

• I wish the flip book pages were made of sturdy cardstock rather than 60# matte. It would hold up better at the barn (horse snot, chewing, dust, etc)
• The four individual pizza boxes for "storage" is cute... but bulky. I can fit all four coffee table books in one box. Did it really need to be that big? I keep everything. These boxes are bad for clutteraholics.
• I wish they'd included the Savvy Sessions breakdowns in the backs of the flip books like they included the Horseanalities; helpful for those of us who take the flip books to the barn but leave the charts at home.
• This is overkill, but there are a couple of Obstacle icons that weren't identified and maybe should have been, though I think I can figure out what they are.

So far, I LOVE IT. I was going to go play today, but I think I'll stay in and absorb and go out tomorrow. It's late, anyway.

Way to go, Parelli!

OH—PS—Manny, the horse I'd been playing with? He's found a new home. I'll miss him. Cute horse.

CLINIC RECAP MAY 2008
These are my notes from the PNH clinic Cheerios and I participated in this year.

MAY 10-11, 2008
Jesse Peters, 2-star PNH Instructor Trainee
Advancing L1/Intro L2 Clinic
Evergreen Lake Stables, Whitehouse, OH

DAY ONE

We lived!

Cheerios and I made it through our first ever clinic together. I almost didn't go because of the tentative money situation, but I'm so glad we did. Then we almost didn't make it because Cheerios didn't want to go into the smaller bumper-pull trailer my barn manager originally wanted to use. Tough decision. Skip it, or have her hook up the bigger trailer. (It is heavier, so more gas is used, so my hauling costs are higher now.)

He hopped right in.

My concern was that Cheerios would freak in the clinic setting. We didn't bring in the horses until the middle of the afternoon—plenty of time for it to gnaw at me. We started with lecture on horseanalities, strategies, solutions, etc. We had lunch. Then we did simulations with each other (Conga Horse—three people make a "horse", and one person plays with them to get feedback).

Then we brought in the horses.


Instead of being a Right Brained Extrovert like I anticipated he'd be (kite on a string in a high wind storm), Cheerios went Left-Brained Introvert, which was easier to manage. He was looking around like "Uh... OK... this is different... I'll just stand over here quietly and look around"...

Jesse's a great instructor. He had us hang out with our horses and just scratch them all over to relax them (and us) before we did anything. I patched up a lot of my "holes", fixed a lot of issues, learned a bunch of stuff, and was surprised in a good way with Cheerios.

Cheerios was REALLY intrigued by all the obstacles we were playing with. Cones, barrels, platforms, tarps, stuff to go over, around, between—the challenge was to be imaginative and play the Seven Games with the obstacle at hand for a bit then switch obstacles with another student. Jesse made it more interesting by having us stand on these white things (I think they're bases for jumps) so we couldn't move from our spot. Makes you figure out how to be more effective without moving your feet.

I'm thrilled with our progress.

Cheerios also was not the "worst" horse there. A mare who could be his twin was a nightmare (behaving like I was expecting Cheerios to behave). Cheerios got a little freaked out at spots, but not for long. He did great.

Jesse's policy is that each student gets a free 20-minute private session to work on whatever they want to or need help with. Mine took place at the end of Day One.

My private lesson was mostly Extreme Friendly Game (EFG—flogging the ground with the string on the end of my carrot stick, which makes a whip-like noise) with a bit of assertiveness training. I learned that I can be assertive without fearing for my life. Cheerios just needs me to be a STRONG leader.

• We made headway in EFG—Cheerios' job is to read ME and see when I'm asking something versus when I'm just relaxed. Turns out, it's MY energy. It never went totally off, I was carrying tension in my body. Big change.


• we fixed Sideways and it was AMAZING


• He got his FQ on the platform (see below—it was fascinating)


• He backed around a barrel


• He got the first half of the Figure 8 around a barrel (Driving game)


• We learned new strategies for Driving game (short range)


• I fixed my Send on Circling. Hard to explain, but the simulations fixed it

Jesse, like Bruce Logan, goes about it a lot tougher than I do. I don't know that it needs to be THAT tough. But then, once Jesse did it, Cheerios listened up.

One of our many fun tasks is to teach the horse to put all four feet on a platform (like a circus horse). We had a platform at the clinic. Most people have trouble getting one foot up there, let alone two or more. While waiting for my turn with Jesse, I was playing with the platform, teaching Cheerios what I wanted. Very quiet. Very gently. Very subtly. Cheerios was riveted, trying to understand what I wanted. I was riveted to see him so riveted.

The platform taught me a lot about the learning process for Cheerios. I was soft—very very soft—while teaching him what I wanted. He was curious and engaged for quite a while. He seemed to figure out that I wanted his foot on the pedestal. He did put one foot up there a couple times. But not both. Then suddenly he lost interest. He wasn't being a butt, he just stopped responding, standing there like "hey, I put my foot on it, I'm done". We had ended the teaching phase and were ready for the reinforcement phase (you know it, now DO it) but I wasn't seeing it yet.

I kept trying to coax him gently while wondering if I should get more firm with him.

Lesson here: trust my instincts.

Cheerios' balking timed perfectly with my lesson time, and Jesse came over and showed me NOW is the time to be firmer. He's got the concept, now let him be aware that when you ask, he responds, please. Jesse got firm. Cheerios got a little upset but then he put the foot up there. Voila. Two feet on the platform, then off. Jesse handed him to me with instructions to play with that for a minute while he took a moment. I did as instructed.

I was a little more insistent about what I wanted (not nearly like Jess though) and...

OMG he got onto the pedestal! TWO FEET!!!

I was ECSTATIC!!!

I immediately released and stood there petting and petting and petting him to let him know that was the best place to be. I was still doing that when Jesse returned. (He probably knew that's what would happen if he left.)

Then we worked on EFG. I'm tense. That's the problem. And uncoordinated! I had to, simultaneously, keep the string going and keep him out of my space and breathe and relax and smile. By keep the string going, I mean Friendly and light on the horse, strong on the ground. We made it. Took it out of me keeping track of the blocks and where he was, but we made it.

My send issue? I stand there and point my finger like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.



Wrong.
I need to keep my arm no higher than shoulder height, elbow bent, palm down, and guide his nose. Slowly. Jesse demonstrated the difference between guide... yank! and guide gentle. Oops. Well, now I get it. Changed it, and boom. Horse responds. Amazing. I don't even have to pick up the carrot stick.

Sideways: More energy!!! TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP!!! Make it MEAN something! Yes, I've heard this before but it didn't sink in last time. Well, he was trotting down the side of the wall for me once I really asked.

Might've helped that the wall was STRAIGHT, too.

Anyway, great day. Eye opening.

These clinics, they are like... personal growth on 11.

*****
DAY TWO

Horses tend to have moments of near meltdowns right before they make a breakthrough...

I think it's the same with people.

The clinic was AWESOME. What most people outside of Parelli have trouble grasping is that it's only partly about the horse/riding/groundwork. It's really more about the person. I swear, it is group therapy with horses. Seriously. Because the horse is our mirror.

What's meant by that is that how you are with your horse tends to be how you are in life (as I rediscovered), and your horse SHOWS you who you are. It's bizarre, I know. But I learned a lot about myself this weekend. Fixed some bigger issues—well, not fixed just yet, but got enlightenment on them, and received strategies that I can now use to overcome them.

Fear was a big one. I still had a little left beneath the surface, and it was inhibiting me because it kept me from being as firm as I sometimes need to be with him in order to be clear about what I want. So I was backing off, being too wimpy (they say "less effective") and confusing my horse, which lead to his being frustrated, which lead to him having a meltdown and doing the things that scare me. It's a paradox, a catch-22, a vicious cycle. So I learned to be more firm when necessary (without getting mean or mad), to be clearer, and wow. Immediate change. Cheerios gained a lot of respect for me.

Then there was the whole life review part that I experienced. It was huge and personal and the full meaning of it didn't hit me until I was having coffee before Day Two. On Day One, Jesse (instructor) was helping me with the above issue and pointed out I was giving up too soon before getting the response I wanted.

Jesse looked me in the eye and said "Don't ever..." and waited for me to answer:

"Quit."

Don't ever quit. Keep going until you get the response you're asking for.

Well, the next morning, I realized, that's how I've been living my LIFE since my parents died (maybe before). Hit a roadblock, try a few things, get nowhere, give up. Try something else, give up. Viewing every roadblock as a sign that I'm on the wrong track rather than finding a solution to it. Nothing gets fixed, nothing gets done, I get nowhere except frustrated and depressed.

We had a remuda (debriefing session) in the morning before Day Two where we discussed what we'd learned the day before, and I was fine expressing it until I got to the part about Jesse telling me not to quit and I lost my composure explaining that I'd lost the two people in my life who'd always told me not to quit during those times when I was on the verge of giving up, but nobody had told me that since they died and I hadn't realized how much I needed to hear it until Jesse said it to me.

Jesse, God Bless Him, wasn't the least bit freaked out by this. He handled my blubbering quite well. I apologized for turning it into group therapy. He reassured me (as did the other sniffling students) that it was perfectly appropriate and how interesting it is that PNH is more about us than about the horse and that the growth we experience in clinics is more about us, too. Then he got up and gave me a big hug.

Day Two was phenomenal, we made ENORMOUS progress. Cheerios is doing stuff I didn't even know he could do—and FAST!

Next day, while warming up, I took Cheerios to the platform and... he promptly plopped both front feet on it nice as you please (receiving huge kudos from Jesse and the students). But now, every time I take Cheerios to an object he thinks "Oh, she must want me to step on it". It's funny. Now, my job is to teach him when to step on it, when not to step on it, when to step over it, etc. But it was huge, and he was REALLY intrigued with all the new things. He's so smart, he needs this. I had to get really creative with the obstacles in the arena.

Because of the trailer issue we'd had on the way to the clinic, I asked Jesse if he would load him for me. Cheerios went on but was a tad right-brained—my homework is to make a program of trailer loading for the next five weeks so that he loads up quietly from now on.

When we got home, Cheerios was a bit right-brained and whinnying. He could have bolted off in a clattering rush, but I had already decided that I was going to insist he respect me. I wanted him to wait until he was calm and I'd invited him off.

Well, that clinic must've made an impression on both of us. I attached the lead rope, and he anticipated being let loose so I gave him (as best as I could because he was still attached to the trailer) a little yo-yo reminder and he backed up a half step (as best as he could because he really couldn't move much) but he listened. He knew I was there and in charge. I detached the trailer line. He made a move like he might bolt and I yo'd him and relaxed exaggeratedly when he stopped moving. (I really have to exaggerate my YES! relax response right now.)

I waited a moment. I invited him to turn. When he bolted (ever so slightly) I yo'd him to back up. It only took a couple of these gentle reminders before he got it. He stopped shaking. I guided him one step at a time until he was lined up to walk off (big trailer, doesn't have to back off) and I waited. He looked at me. I stayed relaxed when he was relaxed, asked for a step backwards when he tried to lurch forward. He finally relaxed and waited. I backed up. He stayed put. I stepped off. He stayed put, watching me. I very gently invited him to step off.

He actually waited until he was sure I was leading him, then stepped off nice as you please, calm, quiet horse.

Big BIG changes.

He's listening better than ever. Now my job is to reinforce it. Consistently. Every time. And don't EVER quit.

The facility where the clinic was held is so Parelli-oriented that I'm considering moving him. The clinic host invited us to move there. She's at capacity right now... but there are boarders who may be leaving in time and she is very particular about who she lets in (because she's a Parelli student, too). What is surprising is that the price is about the same as where I am now (it would be a tad higher but not by much) but it is a stunning facility, well-kept, new, big stalls, they have a staff, they have opportunities to work off part or all of your board, there is a HUGE indoor arena full of "toys", half the boarders are Parelli students, there is the trail access, and Jesse comes in for lessons and clinics every few weeks.

It's very tempting. I'm happy where I am now, because it's Parelli-friendly and they're following Shaveya's treatment plan to the letter, but... winter is coming... indoor arena... and it's tempting. I miss the trails. I'd love to be around a group of PNH students all committed to the same goals.

But if I do, I will have to find Shaveya a new home. If I do this, it's because I'm prioritizing my PNH goals and if I do that, I want to focus on one horse—my partner, Cheerios.

Shaveya, God Bless her, is not a suitable partner for this program. It's unlikely that I'd get her to Level 3 because she's not physically capable. I think I've done as much for her as I can. I've gotten her on a great health program, I've brought her to as sound as I can get her—but her 100% is not sound enough for the physical demands of the program—maybe not even for trail riding.

Her ideal life would be primarily pasture buddy with a lot of grooming and loving on, and maybe a small child who just rides at a walk around the back yard and loves on her. No competition, no shows, no heavy duty rides. Retirement. And if my PNH goals become my priority, I need to focus on my partner and having a pasture puff is not possible anymore. I'll also eventually need to bring another horse to L3 and it'll have to be one that can actually DO L3 tasks.

It's a big decision. So I'm thinking on it.

Gee, I Never Post Anymore
I suppose it's because I'd fallen away from my PNH studies for awhile. There were issues... life and stuff. But I think it'll pick up again now. Oh, the estate? Still open. The middle lot sold right away. The lot with the house? Had a buyer... six weeks of runaround and it fell through when their bank wouldn't finance it (ridiculous terms, too). Then the fire... but it's all good. A very generous insurance settlement arrived, we lowered the price a bit, and there is a very interested buyer looking at it. So, my goal is to have this done and overwith before my Mother has been in the ground for two years—which gives us til the end of September. It'll be done by then. Mark my words. THEN I can finally say, "I'm free, my life is my own again".

I really wish I'd posted in May, because I took Cheerios to our first ever PNH clinic together and it was AMAZING. Jesse Peters, a 2-Star Instructor Trainee, was giving a L1 Advancing/L2 Intro clinic just around the corner from my old barn. It was the closest clinic that I could find all summer that didn't require overnight stays or hotels. My barn manager trailered us and we had a blast.

Jesse helped reveal the horse I always knew was in there. I do have notes somewhere on this computer, emails to my faraway friends exclaiming my astonishment. I'll cobble together a clinic experience in the next few days. Yes, there were tears... of gratitude and joy on my part. Cheerios and I had some major breakthroughs, and in the weeks following the clinic, we played together with more enthusiasm and fun than ever before.

Then I allowed life to drag me down for a bit when the fire happened (house for sale caught fire over the 4th, fixable damage but stressful nonetheless) and temporarily "forgot" I had horses.

But I am reinvigorated. Is it a coincidence that it coincides with the release of the new Patterns program? Is it because the assessments are changing in January and I have to decide whether to push to complete L2 before then, or hold off and do it the new way? Is it because I've had an epiphany?

Probably all three.

I'll keep you posted. Promise.

WHINNY FIT (or, The Amazing Exploding Horse)
I had a major BFO (Blinding Flash of the Obvious) while playing with Cheerios Tuesday: my horse will not always be as I expect him to be.

We're headed to an Advanced L1/L2 clinic in—my goodness, ulp—ten days. Somebody needed to have his Coggins drawn and get some vax since he'll be playing with strange horses, so I arranged to meet the vet in the AM. The vet visit didn't happen until evening due to scheduling conflicts, so I changed my plans a bit and we played first before shoveling.

All the horses were inside because the barn manager was unsure of the weather predictions. She was at work. I had my instructions for the day. I left them in while playing because I didn't want Cheerios to be upset to see his buddies going out to play without him. He can get awfully right-brained about stuff like that still.

I thought we should get a program going to fix his objections to the Extreme Friendly Game. My plan was to warm up with some regular Friendly Game and ease into the Extreme version, just get him used to flopping it without it meaning anything.

Methinks that was the wrong plan. Perhaps I should have stuck to more familiar things a bit longer before introducing it. But hey, it's just Friendly Game, right?


Er, not to the horse, I guess.

It was a very interesting session. He wasn't particularly upset about the light flogging, he just didn't know what to do and seemed convinced he HAD to move his feet. I allowed it. Praised when he stopped. Acted like it wasn't anything. You know the drill.

When he seemed to have "gotten it", meaning he stopped and relaxed, I decided the game was over and moved on, thinking, good, he's calm, now I can teach him.

ERRNNNK.

Not calm.

Not confident.

But I didn't see it. Because I was focusing on his being "relaxed" but misreading it.

The darndest thing happened.

HE WHINNIED. He looked at the barn and let loose.

Why is this fascinating?

Because I've had this horse for seven years. In seven years, I have heard him nicker twice. I have NEVER, to my recollection, EVER heard him whinny. Not the day I brought him home, not the day we moved, never. Ever. I was convinced he didn't know how.

He whinnied more in ten minutes than I'd heard in seven years. My mares are the whinniers (were, in Wildflower's case). Shaveya is known to have whinny fits all the time. She's very vocal. Cheerios, on the other hand, is silent but very physically expressive. So it blew my mind.

He obviously wasn't focusing on ME, so I tried distracting him with the games.

That's when the fun REALLY began.

I observed for the first time something I'd never consciously noticed—maybe it was the first time he did this, or maybe it was the first time I was aware enough to see it. He seemed to cycle very quickly between all four of the Horseanalities then flip between RB and LB Introvert several times before finally shutting down and beginning to go catatonic.

I'd done Extreme Friendly. I ran through the Games in order—yeah, boring, but I didn't dwell, I just preflighted to make sure he was responding to Porcupine versus Driving, that his Yo-Yo was in order, that he was Circling all right. He exploded during Circling, complete with tossing out a kick on the Send (in mid-air, quite dramatic), bucking and galloping, crowding me then kicking out when I asked him to move further away.

What surprised me was that I was asking with VERY LITTLE ENERGY. He's normally a less responsive soul who rolls his eyes and plods out onto the Circle like a bored teenager. I always see how little it takes to get a response before getting firmer so he knows the drill—very soft Phase 1, up the Phases until he responds. He knows what I'm asking. But for some reason, the bored plodding teenager was absent and Mr. Road Rage was in the house. It shocked me. I felt like today he was super sensitive and all it would take to send him was to look with my eyes in the direction of travel—he was THAT sensitive. When he circled in closer, I kept my energy down—all I did was barely tick the carrot stick in his general direction—casually, like maybe a half inch's worth of change!—and with barely ANY energy at all. OMG, you'd have thought I'd insulted his Mother and inflicted a curse upon his entire breed the way he reacted.

It unnerved me a bit. But I didn't react to that. I acknowledged mentally and from a remote observational distance that I found his reaction a tad unnerving but I refused to allow the thought close enough to affect my emotions. (Yeah, that's a neat trick.)

It also nudged up against the last bits of my fears surrounding him. Any of you know somebody who is usually a decent person but every now and then, they're just "in a mood" and you could be having a casual chat about the weather and you might remark "oh, it's sunny today" and they explode? And you cannot for the life of you figure out what you said or did? And it must just be some deep-rooted issue from childhood or something that you inadvertently triggered that set them off?

Yeah. Just like that.

On rare occasions, Cheerios is unmanageable. RARE occasions. The days when I just have this feeling that I do not want to attempt anything with him because though he's friendly and he's woken up on the right side of the corral, just this day he seems fragile—like anything could set him off and there is no way to tell what it might be. Maybe he decided he doesn't like the color of the shirt I'm wearing even though it never bothered him before, or maybe I smell funny. I don't know. Could be what I ate the night before. It's that random, just like the human I was talking about.

This suddenly felt like one of those days.

Here I am seven years into having him as my horse and six years into PNH, a L1 graduate into L2 who has spent a week in Ocala, and I was suddenly wondering if I'd be OK leading him from the round pen back to the barn (about 45 feet) or if we'd get almost in and then he'd explode, rip the rope violently out of my hands, rear, wheel around and gallop off into the road. Like he did that one time. Back in 2001. A few months after the fall. The incident that made me so afraid of my horse that I could not lead him ten feet without a buffer person between us to protect me from him.

The thought flittered briefly across my mind as he bucked and snorted his way around the pen. But I just stood there, pretending like I was OK with it, saying "that's fine, I don't care what gait you're in as long as you're Circling and please stay out there, thank you". Yep, business as usual. Not rattled emotionally. It was like an out of body experience. I observed myself wondering but it was remote and outside of my emotional experience and it was the dangdest thing. I suppose it was self-preservation because if I'd allowed the thoughts to access my emotions I really would have been in trouble.

I remembered that going forward is bad for his current mindset and changing directions might help, so I initiated the change. OH MY. OH BOY. Nope. Didn't help. Made it worse. I sensed that the best place for me might be somewhere other than in the middle of the round pen, so I crossed to the gate. Danged if he didn't decide to follow me. It was weird. His body was airborne but his mind was following me. I think he was having an out of body experience, too.

I gracefully extracted myself from the pen. Again—neat trick. Do it in such a way as to avoid having horse escape and run over oneself while gently deflecting said horse away while also retaining casual unaffected attitude and NOT do it in a manner suggesting OMG I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE HELLLLLPPPPPP. Rather, it had to be, "Oh, ho hum, I think perhaps I'll try being on the outside of the pen while you, uh, do your thing, and yes, please stay inside, thank you, OK, carry on".

Whew.

Interesting to note that even with me on the outside, I could just barely point my finger and he'd snort off and circle. So he's listening... but... hmm.

Every time he tried to stop at the gate with a bad attitude, I quietly suggested he continue. Oh, temper tantrum! But eventually he realized that he wasn't giving the right answer and it wasn't any fun anymore and he started blowing, dropping his head and slowing down. I stayed put, observing, waiting.

Finally I got the big sigh and the licks and the relaxation and Mr. Calm Horse returned.

I went back in and praised him. Lots of Friendly.

Now he was unresponsive. Now, bare suggestions were ignored. Hmm.

Without getting emotional, I upped my energy. I became very active and deliberate. When I drove his forequarters around, I didn't do it at a casual walk—I marched right up to him vigorously and kept going, move move move move move! Let's get EXCITED about pivoting! Good. A positive response. Same with the hinds. Same with backing up. I increased my intensity and he responded.

Suddenly we were getting somewhere. Suddenly, when I stood up and said "YES! Let's get EXCITED about Circling!" and sent him, he very politely and agreeably went out and circled at a pleasant walk. Great. Two rounds, nice attitude, questioning ears can I come in please and yes you can, and lots of rubs.

Finally in the right frame of mind.

Maybe I should have stopped right there. I didn't think that at the time. I thought, goody, let's try Sideways.

Blimey. He did it. The first time. Beautiful three or four steps sideways from a Phase one and a half. Much praise. Squeeze this way, squeeze that way... stop, hide your hiney, wait. Beautiful. Smooth as silk. Looks like a L2 horse now.

Wait—what?

What's going on with his... eyes...

Oh, crap.

He'd stopped. He'd licked. He was standing there resting. Then his head dropped. Then it went a little too low. Then... the eyes began to glaze over. But—but—WHAT? I wasn't pressuring him.

Remembering last time, I turned away and stepped back an inch at a time until he emerged. He wasn't all the way under, he was just beginning to go catatonic. He was still with me, just thinking about going there.

I remembered too that I can't ask him out of it, I must wait for him to lick and chew. I resolved to wait, however long it took. I'd stepped off to where his head was aligned and his ears were forward but his eyes were wonky. I stayed put.

After only a few minutes, he decided to emerge on his own, licked, chewed, big sigh... oh, awareness. He remembered where we were. His eyes were focused again. He asked to come in. I said yes. I knew we were done for the day. I did plenty of Friendly Game. Then I asked him to do one thing I knew he was good at. He did, perfectly. More Friendly so we ended well.

Returned him to his stall. Turned out another horse to the round pen to commence stall cleaning. Decided maybe they should just all go out. Despite the slightest lack of confidence about managing them, I got all 12 of them safely out to the pasture without incident. Cleaned stalls, ended my day.

What I learned from this session is that you can have a horse for many years, think you know him, and find out you don't. It really drove home the concept of playing with the horse that showed up, because on this day, I had four different Horseanalities take turns being present AND he did something he'd never done around me before. Either he whinnied because he felt comfortable enough around me to finally speak, or he felt so uncomfortable with me that he had to call for help.

It also taught me that although I'm 97% over my fears, there are some remaining that may never go away. I have a ways to go. This horse, he might be more than I bargained for.

Then again... something else is tugging at my brain, a concept I learned ages ago and forgot... something from an old Savvy Club DVD or from one of the Levels about how horses react on the verge of a breakthrough when they first start the program... I have to go find that. Maybe this was a good sign and next time, I'll have Old Faithful back.

SICK
Well, I've been sick, so there hasn't been much horseplay lately. I was out last Friday (the 19th) and shoveled two stalls (that was all that was dirty). Ample horse time.

Procured Cheerios from the pasture. He develops horrendous dreadlocks in his mane, so I treated him to a thorough grooming (which he appreciated). Thanks to ShowSheen, scissors and patience, I was able to undo his Bob Marley look with a minimum of mane loss. I did my best to avoid whacking big chunks from his mane; instead, I employed the technique I've seen my hairstylist use—sort of razor with the scissors a few hairs at a time randomly to loosen the dread and use my fingers to pry it apart. I can't tell. It looks like he got a bit of a "style" (the layered look) but it looks natural.

Then we played in the round pen for a bit. He's finally getting sideways. Or rather, I'm finally figuring out how to explain it to him. ;-)



But I wasn't feeling very well at the end of the day. The manure pile is being burned; though I wear a bandanna over my face when I go near the pile, I must've inhaled some of the smoke because I have developed a wicked cough. It started that Friday as a ragged cough with a scratchy throat. Two days of throat, then that receded and it progressed into different symptoms one right after the other: throat to runny nose to cough to sneezing to very bad cough.

I took Monday "off" from barn duty. Tuesday I shoveled but my energy was really low and I had trouble catching my breath. Thursday was the worst—I felt like I had bronchitis. The day before, I'd traveled to southern Ohio and back to attend the closing on the first lot sale and to bid farewell to my Grandma's house (also a dust monster). So Thursday, I pretty much lazed around, doped up on Sudafed and cough meds. Friday I was better. Today, better. But still not feeling up to barn duty.

The cough sounds like nothing I've ever produced before—and I'm a lifelong bronchitis sufferer. This sounds REALLY bad. So, I'll take it easy for a couple more days and see if it clears up on its own. I don't feel "sick", so...

I did get to play with Shaveya Tuesday. I just didn't have the energy for Cheerios but I wanted to play, and with Shaveya she needs calm and low key. Catching game, ran through the games. It went well. She's a very smart horse. Just very scared.

Hungry now... more later.

CATATONIC
Awhile back, I snagged the Parelli Liberty & Horse Behavior Course-In-A-Box as solace for missing the Six-Week Intensive I was supposed to participate in during the Spring of 2006. (I'd had to cancel due to Dad's fall and being needed at home.)



The blurb from the website describes it better than I ever could:

This high powered course was based on an effective program taught at the Parelli Centers. It was produced for home study due to the overwhelming response. Liberty & Horse Behavior teaches you one of the greatest skills a horseman can have, "being able to read horses." This course delves deep into the equine mind and teaches people to understand how to interact more effectively thus gaining greater perceptions around how and why communication via the Seven Games works. This course teaches the skills of Liberty through excellent On Line preparation leading to very high levels of execution.

Since Life settled down a bit, I resumed my studies during the winter months. I watched L&HB almost all the way through. There are 10 DVDs: six of them are the L&HB coursework; the other four include problem solving and expanding the Seven Games. (There is a really detailed outline HERE.)

For those who've picked up the Success Series DVD on "Horseanality", the L&HB Course goes FAR MORE DEEPLY into the concept. In brief, there are four distinct Horseanalities. Horses can have a mixture of horseanality traits but most tend to lean towards one of the quadrants. They are:

• LBE (Left-Brain Extrovert)


• LBI (Left-Brain Introvert)


• RBE (Right-Brain Extrovert)


• RBI (Right-Brain Extrovert)

How one handles each of these horseanalities is the subject of the course. Horses can move very quickly from Left-Brained (confident, dominant, playful, exuberant) to Right-Brained (unconfident, submissive, shy, quiet) and from Extroverted to Introverted. Flexibility is the key, as is understanding how to read what shows up at any given moment. The process can be subtle shifts or it can swing wide across the extremes, depending on the horse.

Some horses can become unconfident when they are learning new things. Depending on the horse, he might be OK with a lot of variety (Extroverts) or he might prefer consistency (Introverts). If you use the wrong approach, you can unwittingly send your horse into an unconfident state pretty easily. Their response to this can range from becoming fractious ("misbehaving") to shutting down.

The extreme manifestation of unconfident and introverted is when a horse goes catatonic. He completely shuts down and, as Linda Parelli puts it, "goes to his Happy Place". It's often a response to stress. Linda has a horse (Allure) who will go cataonic when he eats a cookie. In one segment, she feeds him a cookie to demonstrate for the students what this state looks like (without having to create a negative situation to put a horse under stress).

It's bizarre.

Head drops. Eyes half-shut. Horse looks like he just smoked a fatty. Totally checks out. Lower lip goes all floppy. Stands perfectly still. Doesn't respond to anything. He's far, far away. I mean, he LOOKS like what you'd think catatonic would look like. Linda just has to wait it out until he decides to return to Planet Earth. It's like sleepwalking—the worst thing you can do is wake them up suddenly—you have to kind of let them be.

I've been out with my horse Cheerios before and I've seen him act "weird". I thought I was boring him because he'd just seem to lose interest and take a nap in the middle of my trying to teach him something. For years, I've thought I had a definite LBE—pushy, friendly, domineering, assertive, exuberant, smart, curious, playful. I thought he was full of confidence, sometimes misbehaved, and treated him as such.

I've been misreading him.

He's half LBE and half LBI. That's right. He switches. He'll be extroverted, then introverted. I've just recently figured out that his "misbehavior" is actually a lack of confidence!

Wednesday I played with him. Because I'm now so goal-oriented (I know, principles before goals) due to the upcoming clinic, I decided to get him "up to speed". Let's see how much we can get through today. Let's try transitions (changing gaits) while Circling, and changing direction, and get that Sideways working, and maybe we can do a bit of Seven Games With An Obstacle. Then I'll ride. Yup. Big day planned, big checklist.

Circling sucked. He snorted off at the slightest suggestion. Became fractious when I asked for transitions or change of direction. Pulled back, tried to pull the rope from my hands. General snottiness. I thought, "OH BOY". Then suddenly, he became very quiet and refused to move. He couldn't look at me at all, and he appeared to be going to sleep. I tried to wake him up. He ignored me. I looked at him a little closer.

That's when it hit me—

OMG. I'VE MADE MY HORSE GO CATATONIC.

I felt SO bad.

I thought, "what does he need right now?" and remembered he needed safety... or maybe comfort, I couldn't remember which. I had a 50-50 chance, so I opted for comfort. What gives a horse comfort?

Retreat.

So I played a little game. I watched him as I retreated. Slowly. First I leaned back slightly. His head moved ever so slightly towards me. I leaned forward. His head moved away from me. It was like his head was attached to my body with an invisible string. I stepped backwards, quietly and so subtly you could barely see it, one step—pause—one step—pause and watched as his head swung back towards facing me with two eyes in the tiniest of increments. With every step, he was looking at me a little more.

But he wasn't SEEING me. His eyes were still Stoner Bud glassy. He was looking at me with his spidey sense but not with his eyes. It was strange.

I backed all the way out to the end of the 22' line before he could give me two very glassy half-shut non-focused eyes.

I waited and watched for a bit. Then I thought, maybe I can unhinge him gently and bring him back. I took a step sideways, planning to make an arc to one side in much the same manner as I'd backed up. I stepped. His head raised slightly. OK, I'm on the right track, because his head is down too low so if it comes up he'll wake up, I think.

I was right. I took just a few sideways step in my arc when his eyes opened a bit as his head raised. He followed. As we walked, he woke up.

Needless to say, I apologized profusely. I changed tactics and became as clear as possible in my communication, and gave him more time to dwell and stopped expecting too much. He improved. We ended on a good note but I didn't ride (he wasn't rideable yet).

All this time, I've been treating him like a LBE horse, and forgetting about the LBI part I wasn't aware of.

No wonder so many people had trouble with him "misbehaving". We need help, that's for sure. I need more arrows in my quiver to deal with his bi-polar LB horseanality.

********

Yesterday, we had 70-degree temps but very strong winds. Tornado watches and thunderstorm warnings. When the horses don't want to go out, it's too windy. So I mucked and that was about it. The horses stayed inside.

But maybe that was a good thing. After Wednesday's venture into the World of Catatonia, maybe not playing was the best thing. Instead, after finishing the barn, I hung out with my horses in their stalls. They are right next to each other and Shaveya's stall is technically in the corner but her gate is adjacent to his. So I stood in the corner with my back to the stalls, Shaveya's head on my right shoulder and Cheerios' head on my left, both of them blissed out as I scratched their cheeks.

I was blissed out, too. Those quiet moments of horsey love are better than anything on this planet.

BORN AGAIN HORSEWOMAN
So much has happened in the past week! My parents' estate is about to close! FINALLY! Two out of the three lots from the subdividing of Grandma's property have sold, meaning there is enough money to satisfy the terms of the Will. Good news all around. I am about to be FREE.

The stall cleaning is going well. My personal best is 8 stalls in one day. But I overdid it. The day after doing 8 stalls, I consolidated my storage units (from one big and one small down to one big) which included moving (by myself) a rolltop desk, a stove, and a small recliner. Something feels funny—as in, very sore and stiff—in my left shoulder. Yesterday I managed 7 stalls and today I am paying for it. *sigh* Please pass the Tylenol™.

The most exciting news of all: I'M GOING TO A PNH CLINIC IN MAY!!!

I'm SO excited.



The past two and a half years have been tough. Caring for my parents, putting all my horsemanship goals on the backburner, losing my parents, then the year of fog that followed... I've just begun to emerge into life again. But the months since my parents died have been like my "mountaintop". I always wanted to escape to a cabin in the woods on top of a mountain for months in isolation so I could just think, away from the maddening crowds, away from external influences, and really get in touch with ME and with what I want for ME. Living alone in this quiet suburban neighborhood has been that mountaintop. Seriously. I can go days without the phone ringing. It's quiet.

In that time, I've been able to re-examine my goals. I discovered the Law of Attraction and have been studying it seriously since May 2007. All of this has come together to allow my limiting beliefs to surface. I've had a multitude of breakthroughs on a personal level and I understand myself better than I ever did. I am learning to accept myself. I am learning to stand up for my life. I am discovering my principles, my strengths, my talents, my loves, and my own truths. This is the silver lining to the tragedies.

One thing I've realized is that I am not driven by money. My Mother was, but I am not. Our conflicts revolved around my life choices and related to money in many ways. I remember when I was a child, she asked what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I replied enthusiastically, "I'm going to live on a farm and train horses!"

Mother snorted. "Well, you'd better have a really good job somewhere then, because horses take a lot of money!"

Well, then.

Long story short is that I quickly put two and two together, however illogically, and determined that since we (meaning my parents) couldn't afford to buy me a pony (which was what they always told me), and since Dad had a REALLY good job (we lived in an upper-middle-class suburban neighborhood surrounded by fellow professors), I must need to be a millionaire to afford a horse, so I have to do something that will make me millions. I had a good voice, everyone said I was a talented musician, and since all the people who sang on TV (Hee Haw, Lawrence Welk, etc and yes, I realize I'm dating myself) had fur coats, jewelry, lots of houses and limos, they must be rich, so... I'll just become a famous singing star, make my millions but save it rather than "waste" it on fur coats and limos, then I can retire around the ancient age of 40 (remember, I was about 8 at the time) and live on my horse farm THEN.

So I set out on the path to stardom. In my teen years, I discovered rock bands, and the plan morphed into my becoming a rock star. From the age of 15 until my late 30s, I focused on becoming a rock star. NOT on writing great songs and loving the music, mind you—becoming a rock star. Needless to say, my focus was wrong, and because my counter intentions were that I really didn't want to be a rock star, I just wanted the "easy" millions I could get from exploiting my talent so I could go play with horses, the rock star thing never happened.

Yet, here I am, three months shy of 45, and I'm a retired musician who is "training" horses. Interesting.

(The truth about why we didn't get a horse when I was a kid was because we lived in the suburbs, my Dad was the horse person but he was also the main wage earner and housekeeper and Mother was highly allergic to horses, dust, pollen, and hay—therefore it would have been up to Dad to handle the horse activities such as 4H, shows, lessons, and so on... too much for him to do on top of caring for us. It was just easier for them to relate it to money, though they could not afford it on other levels. Couldn't afford to risk Mother's health, couldn't afford wearing out Dad, and so on. Understandable.)

During my stay on the mountaintop, I've come to realize that music is NOT my first love. Horses are, were and always will be. Horses were the reason for my forays into rock superstardom. All I've ever wanted was to live on a farm and be a cowgirl. Train horses. Have that Black Stallion communication and relationship. Jump onto my spotted horse bareback and bridleless like a wild Indian and gallop off into the sunset.

Well, I can DO that.

PNH makes it possible.

PNH has already allowed me to begin to manifest that relationship with my horses.

PNH teaches people to be Instructors and Horse Developers as a profession.

I'm more interested in doing what I love and allowing it to support me than to chase money and hate the hunt (which is what I was doing before). I've come to the realization that when one pursues their passion, they infuse every action and activity with enthusiasm, love and other positive emotions, which transmits positive energy to the Universe—and that activates positive energy into all aspects of their lives which is WHY people who LOVE what they do tend to have the most MONEY. People who hate their jobs do not tend to make a lot of money and they feel like they are underpaid (because no amount of money is enough to make this job worth it). It's rare that someone who hates their job can actually become wealthy through it.

Well, I LOVE TO PLAY WITH HORSES. I love to ride. I love just BEING with them. When the day ends and I'm at the barn, I hate to leave. I don't want to leave. I don't want the day to end. On days "off", I can't figure out what to do with myself. Oh, there are plenty of chores to do around my house—just no motivation. All I want to do is be at the barn with my horses. With ANY horses.

So, I'm going for it.

Parelli Instructorship, here I come. (Actually I'm more interested in developing horses, but both are fine.)

To get there, I need to:

• Pass L2


• Pass L3


• Get accepted into the program


• Do well in the program and follow the requirements

So we'll start with the first step: Pass L2. That means clinics. That means getting Cheerios up and running. There is an Advancing L1/L2 clinic being held in May, right around the corner from my old barn. There was one spot left.

I got it.

Cheerios is going to his first clinic ever.

I'm going to my first clinic since the L2 in Fall 2004. With a "new" horse. Ironically the instructor of the May clinic was a RIDER in the last L2 clinic I went to. In that short amount of time, he passed L2, L3, and made it as an Instructor.

Here's the fun part.

• May 12, 2001: The day Cheerios ejected me on the trail, which lead to my back injury and the fear issues that lead me to PNH.


• May 12, 2002: The day I ordered my L1 kit.


• May 24, 2002: The day the L1 kit arrived—it was waiting for me when I returned home from my last day on the job, having been laid off at 4:30 PM—precisely the time the L1 kit was being delivered to my doorstep.


• May 9-11, 2008: The dates of the first clinic with CHEERIOS, the horse responsible for launching this journey. Almost to the date.

If you'd have told me it would be SEVEN YEARS before we'd be ready to attend a clinic together, let alone to have gotten this far, I would have given up in disgust and sold my horse.

But here we are. And the dream, once thought lost, has been born again.

Manny, Day One
Today was my first play session with one of the BM's horses. First I cleaned six stalls. Six seems to be my limit so far. By the time I'm halfway done, my back starts aching and my arms refuse to lift one more shovelful. On the upside, it went more quickly this time. I figure by the end of the week I should be able to add a stall or two as my muscles accustom themselves to this job.

When I was done, S asked if I was too tired to play with a horse. I said "No, if I can sit down for a minute first." :-) Took a break. She'd already put a horse in the round pen for me. The briefing was this: he has a lot of energy. He's a thoroughbred. When he's being lunged, she doesn't have to do much but stand there because he shoots off onto the circle and just goes and goes and goes.

OK, he has impulsion.

I went in and just tried to see what I had. Cute horse. Little bay gelding with a white blaze, kind of reminds me of Wildflower. He was very lacking in confidence. It didn't take much to send him circling the pen. She's right. He's the energizer bunny. I watched him for a bit. He was going and going and going. Not even looking to slow down. Very fit, this one.

OK, enough of that. Change direction. Flies off in the other direction. Goes and goes and goes and...

OK. Well then. Let's change directions until you decide to stand still. I think he changed direction about 30 times before he stopped. I relaxed.

He wasn't sure what just happened.

Initiate Catching Game. Got a lot of questions. Made sure to turn off my bullhorn when he looked at me with a question. Still not coming near me, though. Couldn't get near Zone 5 to tag it either. Hmm.

OK. Change tactics. Noticed he flinches every time I raise the carrot stick. What if I dropped the stick?

Aha. Still responsive, still circles, but more inclined to look at me and come into me. Play Catching Game for a bit without the stick. Still not making a change.

OK... will he let me near him? Yes. OK. Good. A bit unconfident, but with approach and retreat, he figures out I'm safe enough and comes to me. Let's introduce the halter and lead rope to sniff. Hmm. Not too sure about that. Give him a few chances to sniff it, approach, retreat—OK it's safe. Halter him. Leads nicely. Interesting. He'll following willingly with a rope on him, but won't follow at liberty. Definite confidence issue.

First things first. Let's get this carrot stick intro out of the way. Very unsure about it. The usual: approach, retreat, when I can finally get it near him without him escaping, rub briefly, stop. Think. Slow, deliberate but not sneaky movements: lift the stick, retreat, come in, retreat, come in... OK now we can rub him all over with it. Still not completely convinced, but he's accepted it enough to where I can begin to teach him it won't hurt him.

Ran through the first five games mostly to see what he knows, how he responds, what bothers him/doesn't bother him. He's responsive—very sensitive—maybe too much. Wanted to escape from steady pressure. Worked on the basic M.O.: stand still until I ask you to move, move when I ask, stop when I ask you to stop, and please do it politely. It was rough around the edges, but I introduced him to the basic concepts of moving off steady pressure in all the major zones, introduced driving, yo-yo and circling.

He has trouble backing up and trouble staying out. He wants to come crowd back in. His bring back is great. (Too great.) He understands the concepts to turn on the FQ and pivot the HQ but only through steady pressure. Driving game makes him want to "go lunging" or go forward. We'll work on that. Probably got some inconsisent signals. If all that's been done is lunge, he might think that everything means go run around the circle.

The interesting thing is that I corrected his explosive send pretty easily. He sent at a polite walk very well. Of course, he's been lunged so he grasps that concept. It's the other stuff he's confused on. But that's OK. I introduced him to the concept of staying out on the circle in gait until I ask—he had the habit of stopping behind me. He made it around one full circle and asked a question and stopped. I took it.

That was pretty much it. Oh, lots of friendly game with the string, and a bit of leading him while flopping the string ahead of me so he begins to understand to read ME, not the stick. I ended by rubbing him well and just standing there. After a bit I leaned over. I would have sat, but I was concerned that in my state of soreness I might not be able to get back up, LOL, so I just leaned over. It was still "down" to the horse. He dropped his head immediately.

Good sign.

He learned fast on the way in to stay behind me, don't overtake me, don't make decisions yet, follow my lead, wait until I invite you to enter your stall, and please disengage your HQ for unhaltering before eating. He did very well there.

After that, I got to go get my poor lonesome Cheerios who was the last one left in the pasture at turn-in. He also behaved admirably on the way in. None of that yanking my arm off to get to the food, which surprised me. Pleasantly. I felt a bit bad, though, because he was watching me the whole time as I played with Manny—like "hey, why aren't you playing with me?" I explained to him that I would—that I hadn't abandoned him, I'm just working off his board and one of my jobs is playing with other horses. Please forgive me—I'll play with you, too.

I love my horses. I LOVE PLAYING WITH HORSES.

S said to me on the way out that I'll have to teach her, too, so she'll know what to do with them. Can I tell you how happy that makes me to hear that? I opened my car door and pulled out two of the Success Series DVDS—Catching and the Games—and handed them to her. Though I still think of them as Parelli Lite, for someone just being introduced to the concepts, it's a good start. Later I'll hit her with the in-depth mind-blowing stuff. Hee hee hee.

Great day.

New Beginnings
The 50-degree play day I anticipated didn't quite pan out. The trim took place—all good news—but the weather wasn't as conducive to play as we'd hoped. It rained. It was warm, but it rained.

Shaveya's feet, wow. I wish I'd had a camera at the time to take photos of her feet before and after. The after is amazing. We started the NHCP journey in the late summer of 2005, and two-and-a-half years later, Shaveya has received a miracle healing. That's all I can call it: a miracle. I was watching over the shoulder of my trimmer and I was astounded. Shaveya's hooves are spreading to a normal, supportive size. They are deeply concaved, have a wonderful solar depth, a healthy frog, and are rock-solid. She no longer limps. When she pivots, she moves like a "normal" horse should move. She canters happily in the pasture.

This is the same horse whose condition a year ago was so bad that it got me chased down by a vicious boarder (at the old barn) who verbally attacked me for "neglecting" my horse then threatened to call the Humane Society and report me for abuse. The same horse that lead the barn manager at that barn to issue an ultimatum: shoe her, move her, or else. I spent a good 18 months defending my horse to that barn, and standing by my principles and philosophies (backed up by a supportive medical and hoof team) because I KNEW Natural Hoof Care and the dietary change would work. Eighteen torturous months being on the receiving end of accusations, threats, and nasty attitudes because I refused to conform and do what others thought was right.

This horse is healed.

In addition, her entire demeanor has improved. She came to me a shy, unconfident, nervous wreck. She used to tense up all the time and panic easily. She didn't trust anyone, human or equine. She couldn't stand still during trimming appointments. She kicked out defensively.

Well, that horse has left the building. The Shaveya I have with me now has developed confidence, bravery, and has overcome her nervousness. I suspect the Chinese herbs helped, as did relocating to a smaller barn (from 40 horses down to 12). She is in a mixed herd and gets to hang out with Cheerios, whom she likes a lot. Laugh if you must, but the animal psychic I had read her once (out of fun and curiosity) told me Cheerios was her boyfriend. OK... maybe so. They're together, either way. She stands beautifully on a loose line for the trimmer. She lifts her feet politely. She no longer kicks.

She's happy.

The only thing that concerns me is that she's a bit skinny coming out of winter. My guess is that because she feels better, she's moving around more than she ever did, so her food intake needs to increase to keep up with that. Otherwise, she seems fine. I'll watch her as the warmer days arrive. If she stays skinny, I'll call the vet.

Cheerios is great as always. He celebrated his 11th birthday Saturday (Shaveya turned 10 on the 4th). I have one Pisces horse and one Aries. It is interesting that my parents had those same birth signs. (Cheerios' birthday is the day before my Mother's.)

I have a new "job". It's to offset board fees. I'm shoveling. Yup. Cleaning stalls. But there's more.

The BM at this barn, S, is a very sweet gal in her mid-20s. She's married with a year-old daughter. She has a full-time day job. She also gives riding lessons, works with 4H, shows, competes, and trains horses.

And she asked ME if I'd be interested in helping her out with HER horses. As part of the board deal. Basically, do my thing with them, play with them, ride them if I want. Interact with them and get them "going" for the upcoming season.

I was floored.

Me?

Now, she is naturally-inclined but not Parelli. However, she's very interested in PNH. VERY interested. Positive interested. As in, could probably be a "convert" without much further encouragement. (It's a very supportive environment—a couple other boarders do Parelli, though as the one said, not exclusively, which I guess is all right for them; as for me, I'm monogamous.) As in, asks ME for advice—and she's the trainer. But it's on a peer-to-peer basis, not the usual "I'm the trainer—let's just see how much you really know *snort*" that so many of my PNH pals encounter. It's more like she considers me at (or maybe above?) her level of knowledge.

Which I find very interesting.

On one occasion last fall, she had the unusual experience of being unable to catch her main horse and was telling me about it. I asked if she'd mind if I tried something with him. She said "Sure, go ahead". I said "OK" and asked her to come with me and we went into the pasture to get him. The whole time I pointed out things to watch for, like his ears, body position, and so on, what it meant and the like. Did the approach/retreat. Basically played the catching game with him while explaining why I was doing what I was doing. It worked, of course. He caught us.

I took him into the round pen and played with him some more until he caught on and was following me all around the pen.

S told me the other day that since that session, she hasn't had one problem catching him.

That's why she wants me to play with her horses.

Five of them.

She's a bit stretched for time with the baby, the job and the barn, which I fully understand. I said yes. I'm absolutely flabbergasted, humbled, and astounded.

I know. I'm not L3 yet. I know they advise us to take one horse all the way through before developing any others, and I can understand why; they want us to deal with one set of horseanality issues before taking on a different set. But I have two horses myself—they are polar opposites and it has helped my horsemanship develop because I must adapt to each of them, often in the same day. I can see where it might work best for some people to focus on one horse at a time, but on the other hand, I can also see where that might lead one to become complacent. If your horse always behaves like X, you come to expect X as a response, and if you go too long like that, then when you get a new horse and he behaves like Y, well, it's like restructuring your entire ballgame.

The key to horsemanship is to be able to adapt quickly to the ever-changing responses from the horse. How better to learn flexibility and the ability to adapt than to adjust to several different horses throughout the week?

They aren't difficult or challenging horses, this bunch—they are everyday horses like mine. Cheerios is actually a tad challenging. S says he's one of the smartest horses she's ever seen. That intelligence and confidence is what makes him a higher-level horse than most others. I say this not with pride or ego, mind you—just that I know I have the savvy to know whether or not to move forward with this.

My plan is to play a bit with each of her horses and see what shows up. If anything appears to be more than I can handle, I'll step away. If I'm unsure about how to approach something, I'll either leave it, stop playing with that one, or ask for help from an instructor. I won't try to solve anything by myself that is outside of my current level of horsemanship. I've been soaking up Liberty & Horse Behavior as well as the new Success Series (I have ALL the DVDs, videos and Levels programs, except for the one about raising foals). And I certainly will begin online on the ground first! No riding! I'm confident, but I'm not stupid. LOL!

My guess is, she sees something in me that maybe I don't see in myself. She is very particular about her horses and her barn, which is why she won't hire an outsider to clean. She wants someone she trusts. That she trusts ME to help develop her horses says a lot to me.

There is another aspect to it. If I do want to be a PNH Instructor someday, the experience will begin much like this. From what I understand, the Instructor trainees start at the bottom once accepted. They help out at the centers and on tours. That means what you think it does: cleaning stalls, handling turn out, feeding, watering, grooming, being a go-fer, fixing fences, cleanup, building stuff, maintenance... in addition, studying horsemanship and instructorship, developing the horses that are assigned to you, and IF you can squeeze it in, playing with your own horses. After a good year of that, if you move up to the next level, the duties are more teaching-oriented and less about chores. It gets better from there. As you rise in the ranks, your duties become more teaching and horse oriented and less chore-oriented.

So the three aspects are: barn chores, horse development assignments, and your own horsemanship goals.

Kind of like what I'm starting now at the barn. I see it as good preparation for my future.

I cleaned six of 12 stalls Friday and it took me three days to recover. (Laugh. Go ahead. I'm out of shape. But not for long.) Tomorrow, the REAL fun begins.

Absent

Absent
Yep. Absent.

Well, the horses are fine, preparing to shed their winter coats. The BM shared a few tales with me about my horses—luckily she is of the tolerant "that's just horses" mentality or I might be on the way out! LOL!

It appears that Cheerios has earned a new nickname. Houdini. He is an escape artist. He has ducked under the electric tape fence on several occasions to go where he wanted to go. He has also been inviting his pasture buddies to join him on these excursions. Sometimes they do; sometimes he's on his own. Thankfully it is a very quiet country road—but still. Eesh.

BM says he's probably the smartest horse she's ever seen. She also said it's a good thing his personality is pleasant or he'd be a nightmare. That's my boy. Adorable (and knows it), too smart for his own good, and thankfully friendly and willing. Athletic, too. Come to think of it, that's the recipe for the perfect partner, isn't it?

Shaveya has improved all around, but the trade-off is that she is chewing. She's chewing wood. Trees. Chewing the bark right off the trees. We aren't sure if it's displaced behavior, anxiety, the fact that I've had to discontinue the most expensive herbs due to a temporary cash flow situation, or something else. Might be her teeth. We are all overdue for the dentist. My guess is, it's the herbs. Yikes. Well, soon. (Her new nickname is Chewbacca.)

The best news is, I've been given the go-ahead to start playing with and riding her this year! Start off 5-10 minutes at a time at a walk, see how she is the next day. Play it by ear. This is great. This means I can start her in L1 for real.

Of course, I haven't been keeping up with PNH much. I'm still a Savvy Club member, still getting the mailings, but... I'm behind. However, life has been rather frenetic since Mom and Dad got sick and passed on. The estate stuff is nearly wrapped up, so I'll be free (in more ways than one) very soon and able to call my own shots.

My ideal vision for my life is as follows: I'm earning my living quite successfully as a musician, composing, recording, playing out. On days "off", I work on my music; on days "on", I'm probably on a project or playing out. Plenty of time to get outside and play with/ride my horses, plenty of clinics, and plenty of time to meditate and study the LOA. That's it. That, and a few million bucks, and I'm happy.

The weather is warmer, it'll be in the 50s Tuesday, and they have a trim appt so I anticipate the first play session of 2008. Looking forward to it.

BFOs
BFO. Blinding Flash of the Obvious. That is what we call it when we have a sudden, blinding insight, an "oh, DUH" moment during horseplay. I've been having a lot of those lately.

Last week, I was playing in the round pen with Cheerios. This was just after playing with a visiting yearling at the BM's request. The yearling was in for "training"—respect and manners—and I suspect the BM wanted to confirm her suspicions that it wasn't the horse, it was the owner. Meaning, she knew she could get the horse to respond, because that's what she does (train and give riding lessons). She wanted to see if someone else could get a response, I think, especially a non-trainer.

Of course, I got great responses, bonded with the filly, fell in love, and wanted to buy her. Of course, she's for sale. Of course, I can't justify it because the BM might raise board in January (due to rising hay/bedding costs) nor can I justify a horse that will need far more attention than I'm already (not) giving my Levels Partner. Plus I'm only L1 officially.

But it did soften the way I asked, and that carried over to Cheerios, and was I surprised to get BETTER responses from a light suggestion. I know that's the tip of the iceberg, that there is subtlety I'm missing with regard to when he changes from LB Confident to RB Unconfident and so on, but it was a major BFO.

Then I mounted up bareback, just to do Passenger Lessons. I just wanted to sit on him. Move with him. Remember how to do that. Because last time I tried to ride, I realized, dear me, I've forgotten how to trot. Yes. I've been that lackadaisical this year. I've fallen away.

I shut my eyes and just "listened" to him with my body as he stood there. The oddest thing happened. I suddenly became acutely aware of his body under mine, and acutely aware of the most incremental shifts in his balance or stance. Just standing still, he had to focus carefully on maintaining his balance, or rather, balancing me. If I shifted ever so slightly, he had to shift to accommodate my shift. Likewise, I could feel him swaying beneath me—swaying I say, but if you looked at us you wouldn't see it—and I had to focus on maintaining my own balance point.

It wasn't like big human sitting on broad backed beast anymore. It was like gigantic upside-down pyramid poised on top of gigantic right-side up pyramid, where the only contact point, the balance point, is the tippy tops of the pyramids. Any great shift would cause it to topple.

It dawned on me just how difficult it must be for a horse to carry a human rider, and why some horses are just plain impossible to ride no matter how well balanced you are—it's because THEY have not learned how to carry themselves balanced, let alone with weight added. Then toss an unbalanced rider into the mix—disaster.

Now THAT is a BFO.

Cheerios received many apologies that day.

We have a round pen now, btw, thanks to me and my generosity. I bought the panels and gate and helped assemble it, and the BM is paying me back in board trade. They also fenced in the back pasture so there is a riding area now. Perfect timing, Winter is here. Of course. But that's all right. I'm thoroughly studying L&HB and will be well prepared come first thaw.

NOT IMPRESSED
I'm sorry to say this, but so far, I'm not impressed with Parelli's new release, the Success Series. It's 10 DVDs sold as a set but also available individually. Thank God I"m in the Savvy Club and got a huge discount because if I'd purchased these separately at regular price (or as the set) I'd be complaining.

But that's because I have the original VHS version of the Seven Games, and when compared to the Seven Games DVD included here, the new version is lame (so far). I've watched Horsenality all the way through—interesting, but there is far more information in the Liberty & Horse Behavior set released last year.

Part of me suspects Success is a well-crafted teaser advert designed to promote sales of the two Levels packages and L&HB. If so, that's sad.

This is the first product of theirs that I've been disappointed with. Perhaps I'll change my opinion after viewing the remaining eight DVDs. It doesn't make me want to quit PNH, mind you. I still believe PNH is THE BEST horsemanship program in the universe. This release just left me wanting a lot more.

Happy Horses
The move was the best thing for my horses and me. I think they've adjusted more quickly than I have, though. They settled right in. Cheerios has a new buddy. Shaveya has a huge new stall with plenty of room to turn around in, and for the first time ever, I witnessed a happy relaxed mare quietly munching hay in her stall. That is new. The expression on her face was worth all the hassle of moving. She is at peace with her new life. Relieved. (Right now mares are turned out part of the day and rotate the second pasture with the one stallion on the lot; they'll soon have a third pasture, but they don't want to turn out a stallion with mares next door and I'm totally in agreement with that. Beside, it's better for Shaveya to be off grass more than on.)

I'm not used to it yet. I still have an automatic reaction of dread when I think "go to the barn". It takes a moment before I remember, "Oh yeah. That place is history. We're at the new barn now! It's closer, and I am actually allowed to enjoy myself now!" It will be nice when it finally sinks in and I have an automatic reaction like I used to of "OH BOY! I get to go to the BARN!" Time will help.

It's also wonderful to have a barn manager who CARES. In addition, she fully grasps the healthcare program and is unbelievably helpful. Heaven has a special place for her when her time is through. She's good people. She calls to let me know about oat levels. She even asked if I wanted her to pick up some oats at the grain elevator when she went out, because it's less expensive than the local feed store. Wow. What a difference! What a 180 from the last place.

Now, before you say "too good to be true", let me remind you: there are no riding trails, there is no round pen (yet) in which to work, there is no arena in which to play. There are only two pastures and a barn with stalls and a nice owner/manager. But that's all right. Because the health, well-being, and safety of my horses is far more important than whether I have a place to ride right now. I hardly went on the trails, anyway. But I did make use of the round pen at the old place (when there wasn't a horse being "stalled" there) and the arena (when the mares weren't turned out in the "mud lot"). In other words, I had all the amenities, but I wasn't ever able to take advantage of them in recent years.

The BM said that Shaveya still isn't sound, but she does see a bit of improvement. She's a little better. That's good news.

Well, Shaveya has probably been yanked around feed-wise for so long that the diet stopped working. It only works if it's consistent. Research shows that horses with Insulin Resistance can have an episode (lameness) from JUST ONE MEAL containing sugar. If that's the case, what would a yo-yo diet of a couple days on oats followed by a few days on sweet feed and back and forth do to her? It took six weeks when we started the diet before noticeable improvement occurred. She's been out there three weeks. By the end of July, Shaveya should be much better. I don't know. We may have lost all the ground we made last year, thanks to the old barn. We might be back at square one, and it might take another year and a half to get her back to where she was before the management changed at the old barn. I hope not; I'm just preparing for the worst while expecting a complete and dramatic turnaround with no lost ground.

The holistic vet is coming out Thursday! I am so looking forward to hearing her diagnosis. My gut instinct says it will probably be an easily correctable issue in her organs—maybe her reproductive system or her liver—and that adding some Chinese herbs will right the imbalance and render her sound. We'll see.

Anyway, happier days are finally here. Now if I can just motivate myself to GO to the barn. It'll come back to me. I just have to get used to the idea of having FUN at the barn again.

Heaven Obliged

We're Home
Less than 24 hours after posting my intent, I found the barn through a bizarre long-distance connection I have, and I went right out Friday to have a look-see. We moved Monday. It was totally stealth, which is great for me, but begs the question of security at the old barn. I mean, anybody could have just drove up any old time, picked out a horse, and drove off. After all, I did. But they were legally my horses. The new barn fits most of my criteria.

• be 10 miles from my home or less

It's about 17 minutes to drive, which is closer than the old barn.

• be Parelli all the way

Not officially. But judging by how my horses were trailer loaded, I've chosen the right place. They did exactly what I would have done, with only a couple of minor things. Parelli Practitioners stand outside the trailer and Send the horse into the trailer. They got in the trailer and tugged on the lead rope (barely). That's fine. Everything else was perfect. The bonus is that the girl who runs the barn expressed a strong unsolicited desire to learn Parelli, and to go to Parelli Events with me. This may turn into a PNH barn after all. She's already a very Naturally-based person.

• be advocates for natural health and hoof care

And then some! She gave me the number of the holistic vet who lives just up the road. This vet can "see" inside the horse. I know it sounds crazy, but I've had strange enough experiences that I know it's possible.

• have no more than 12 horses including my two

Eight total, counting my two, with plans to build four more stalls and no more.

• be run by people who support what I choose to do for my horses and oblige my requests

Absolutely. They're very nice.

• cost half as much per horse as my current barn

Ehh, it's a little less. It's not more, that's the main thing. Unless it was a very fancy show barn, I would not expect to pay more than my old barn charged because the old barn had 30 acres, an outdoor arena, a round pen, and instant trail access to the metropark trails. This barn is on 13 acres. That's it. Barn, acreage, house, and pastures.

• have a round pen and arena that are actually open and available to be USED by the boarders as a round pen and arena to ride in

However. Not yet, but she plans to. They just bought the place last year on foreclosure and are working to make it the way they want it. The round pen is going up this summer, the indoor? Someday. More pastures will be fenced off and four more stalls added. So it WILL be that way if I can be patient.

• have two open stalls RIGHT NOW.

This is how nice they are. They didn't have the stalls all built yet. But the stall parts were "in", so she and her hubby spent all day Saturday moving stuff around and building more stalls so they'd have a place for my horses because she understood how concerned I was for their safety.

It feels like an enormous weight has been lifted. I feel lighter. I really do. Now I can go watch all of the Liberty & Horse Behavior course and actually start practicing it again! She has a truck and trailer. She's very interested in PNH. Who knows? I foresee play dates, a Parelli Playground, and possibly some clinics in our future. Even if I'm the only official PNH student, it feels better.

It feels like "home".